I’m not okay….

Do you know how tiring it is to constantly tell yourself that you’re going to be okay? It’s quite mentally exhausting. You spend a lot of energy trying to move past your anxiety and/or climb out of your depression but almost anything can be a setback. Not making enough money, bills running late, stressing over kids, stressing over people, or maybe you just had a really bad day. We end up convincing ourselves that were not good enough, that we can’t handle it. I get tired of trying to convince myself that I’m worth it. I’m just tired……I’m tired of always being broke, I’m tired of being alone, I’m tired of feeling like I won’t get anywhere in life. I could be a great person, by all accounts I should be by now. I should have money and be able to take care of my mom, I shouldn’t feel like a loser. I might have sleep apnea but I don’t get it treated. I guess there are worse ways to die. Maybe that’s the easy way out. I am gambling with my life every time I go to sleep. I wake up because I have to. This will pass but I fear one day it won’t. 

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