When I was younger, I never felt attractive. I was either too fat, too hairy, not tall enough or more simply not good enough. This lasted through both my teens and most of my twenties. This was in part due to my own insecurities, I was trying to model myself against my more attractive friends. All my friends are over six foot, have beautiful smiles, and have confidence for days. And I wouldn’t change any of it, that would make ME a shitty person to be around. Yep, my insecurities should not be pushed on them (even though I might’ve in the past). As I get older (Next year I will be 30), I’m starting to give fewer fucks about being attractive to random strangers. I mean, it would be nice to have that kind of broader appeal, but I need to face the fact that that might never happen. It’s no one’s fault, that just the random qualities that I got in this life. I’ve been feeling great lately; I’ve been going to the gym more, eating better(well fasting better), and I’ve been getting a handle on what I want to do professionally. …….I feel like I’m getting my old man swag!
I’m still a work in progress and has a long way to go in terms of meeting my goals, but it’s nice to feel like I’m on the right street at least. One of the things that helped me and that I’m still getting used to is giving myself a break. I can’t keep comparing myself to others, especially those who are younger who have achieved some form of success. I am on my own path, I have my own struggles and challenges and maybe in some instances, some advantages.
In writing this I guess I am making a commitment to myself that I will always keep improving. I will eventually become the best version of myself and I encourage everyone to do that.