Daily Prompt: Scent

I walked out of the hospital the other day, my shift just ended and my feet was sure to be covered in blisters. I took 3 steps past the outside doors of the ER and that’s when I caught a familiar scent. I could never forget it. It’s not something you find in a cheap outlet mall, no fragrance in Sephora could match this. This was not just any scent, it was an essence. An essence of someone I have not seen in about 2 decades, a middle-school crush.  I’m taken back to the time I was enrolled in Jerry William’s Martial Arts class. There was a girl there who’s hair reminded me of those luxurious fur coats: soft, think, and shines in the sunlight. I forget her name but I could never forget her face, or her scent apparently. Now I’m back in present day and I’m looking for the source. I do a quick walkthrough around the ER but I can’t find her. I’m not sure what I’d do if I did. What would I say? I don’t think she would be receptive if I went to her and said, “Hey I caught a whiff of your scent that reminded me of that dirty ass dojo we use to go to years ago, wanna catch up?”. I don’t believe that would go well. Also, what would she look like? In my head, she’s a mature version of that brown-eyed girl who left a lasting impression on my sub-conscience, but reality doesn’t meet our expectations. She could be physically repulsive to me, suffer from a mental illness, be terminally ill, or probably just have bad breath.

I’m taken back to the time I was enrolled in Jerry William’s Martial Arts class. There was a girl there who’s hair reminded me of those luxurious fur coats: soft, think, and shines in the sunlight. I forget her name but I could never forget her face, or her scent apparently. Now I’m back in present day and I’m looking for the source. I do a quick walkthrough around the ER but I can’t find her. I’m not sure what I’d do if I did. What would I say? I don’t think she would be receptive if I went to her and said, “Hey I caught a whiff of your scent that reminded me of that dirty ass dojo we use to go to years ago, wanna catch up?”. I don’t believe that would go well. Also, what would she look like? In my head, she’s a mature version of that brown-eyed girl who left a lasting impression on my sub-conscience, but reality doesn’t meet our expectations. She could be physically repulsive to me, suffer from a mental illness, be terminally ill, or probably just have bad breath. Maybe she’s visiting a loved one, they might be injured or on their deathbed. Either way, a reunion would not be appropriate.

After 5 minutes of searching, I decide to give up the chase. By this time her scent has disappeared, I have lost her again. Maybe I need to let go, perhaps I need to keep her in the past. I’m ashamed to say that I have hopes of possibly seeing her because this was at the hospital that I work at. As messed up as it sounds, I hope she returns.

Guess I’ll leave that up to fate…

When I was younger I thought that I would just naturally become the person I was meant to be. I believed that just by living  this uncertain life I have, I would just accumulate all the right experience needed for the growth that works make me into the person I foresaw in my head. I wish I knew neck then that that’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works. You can’t trust the future that much. Not to the point where you entrust it with your most precious non-refundable gift: Your time. That is what you ultimately lose. The time you wasted believing that you will eventually figure everything out only to not be any more enlightened than you were before. You waste your time by falling into a job or a program of study that you have no interest in. You may tell yourself that it’s temporary but, that you’re going to stay until you “figure something out”. When that never comes, you just end up with a dark spot in your soul where your passion should be. Doing things this way just…. It makes you lazy. Lazy enough to rest on your laurels and give yourself to time in hopes of an epiphany of yourself in this temporary little life. I can imagine what I sound like from am outside perspective, but I say all this with the intention that the reader does not hesitate when it comes to self-discovery. I know it’s not too late for me or anyone but you do not want to have wasted time on your lists of regrets. This will be short and bittersweet. Please take control of your lives and just wait for things to happen or fall into place. You owe yourself more than that. 

The Force Awakens is our fault…

Much like a good number of people I watched the latest episode of South Park (Douche and a Danish) and in comes a part that relates to a certain winter time blockbuster. The character Randy sits down Mr. Garrison and tells him the origin of “memberberries”. This was obviously used as a vehicle to make commentary on how society want things that are nostalgic but in doing so stunts growth and creativity. Randy says that even though Star Wars: The Force Awakens went through the motions of the old Star Wars movies, it did not do anything new or different.  A lot of different sci-fi and comic book nerd sites and forums have talked about this since The Force Awakens came out but I think it’s worth talking about now that South Park mentioned it. And I will explain why TFA was kind of our faults.

I’m sure most of you are familiar with Red Letter Media’s “Plinkett Reviews” but if you are not then look them up on YouTube, they’re legitimately entertaining. If you would to look up their most popular videos, you would find that their Star Wars Prequel reviews to be at the very top. RLM kind of gotten famous for their lengthy and in-dept Star Wars and Star Trek reviews. Most famously their Star Wars Episode 1 review is around 90 minutes long. And I kid you not, these guys go into serious detail about everything that’s wrong with these movies. Most people would probably not make it past the 8 minute mark of some guy complaining about minute details on a science-fiction movie that’s over 10 years old but that keeps you there are the dark humor spread throughout the review. This is what makes you want to keep viewing the videos. I enjoy watching him tear these films apart ,although I admit that I still like Episode 3 even with all it’s flaws. I must confess, like all of the other nerds on the internet I was dog piling on the Star Wars Prequels too. It was “cool” to talk shit about the prequels while unabashedly defending the Original Trilogy like they the gospel. Now with me saying all of that I am NOT blaming Red Letter Media for The Force Awakens, but I think that they channeled a voice for the frustrated fans of those who grew up with the classic Star Wars. We didn’t think nothing of it, we just wanted the old Star Wars back. Sadly though, someone out there listened to us.

When I first saw The Force Awakens, I was a little surprised by how much it borrowed from A New Hope. This is nothing new, there are plenty of people who hopped on the internet to cry about how similar it was but not too many people looked into “Why” is resembled it so much. Unfortunately, it came down to the fans. The legions of nerds who took to the internet to curse the prequels fro not being what we wanted. Please notice I am not using the accusatory “you” and “they” because I must admit I have a hand in this too. It wouldn’t be right to pass the buck but I guess that’s why I wanted to talk about the cause of it. Actually I cannot blame the studios for going that route, they were put in a no-win situation. Trying something new and unique is risky and Disney spent $4,000,000,000 to obtain the Star Wars license so they needed something sure to hit. Now say what you want about the prequels (most of the internet did), but you have to admit that they are different from the original trilogy. Matter of fact, Episode 3 was at the time the only Star Wars movie to be rated Pg-13 and dealt with some pretty dark material such as genocide. I’m not saying that these were the right choices but that definitely set them apart from the originals. Even though TFA made a shitton of money, a lot of people are now asking for something more original. Hopefully people no see that retreading the same grounds doesn’t do anything for us because we’ve already seen it. Think about that unnecessary Psycho remake with Vince Vaughn. They did an almost shot for shot remake of the classic Hitchcock movie. The remake was so similar that it almost seemed redundant, like why do it if you’re just gonna do the same thing over again. Now I know that that was just one example but the fact that Star Wars is such a beloved franchise that has decades of extended lore and original stories that just makes The Force Awakens seem like a disappointment.

With me saying all that let me say this too, I enjoyed the force awakens for what it was. I guess my only hope in writing this is that by some form of chance someone with influence reads this and decides to take a chance on doing something new with the future Star Wars movies. Origin stories are cool but people love star wars because of the possibilities that come with the universe. If you guys want, I will come up with some unique concept and stories that can be considered. I am a fan, always has been and will probably be one till I expire. I just want good stories so my family and I can enjoy them.

So….. let’s see how Rogue One will do.

It is a goddamn shame about the Suicide Squad.

Not only did this movie look interesting, you can also tell that the cast genuinely appreciated being there.

The first trailer for this movie set a somber tone that piqued my interest. The song, the voice overs, the way the characters looked, all of these told me that suicide squad was looking to do something different in the superhero genre.

Let’s talk about the cast: this is probably one of the most diverse casting I have seen in a film series aside from the Fast and the furious series. And they don’t have to draw attention to it. There is a mix of everybody but sadly they aren’t all treated fairly. I am specifically talking about Slipknot played by Adam Beach (one of my favorites). If the promotional material and castings wasn’t clear enough, Slipknot had a total of 8 mintues of screentime. Plus he does in an unnecessary way, to confirm what everyone knew, that Amanda Waller doesn’t play. Speaking of Ms. Waller….

She alongside Headshot (Will Smith) and Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie) were the standout characters in this movie. To be fair, Jai Courtney does a pretty decent job as Captain Boomerang which is saying a lot because I (along with plenty of others) don’t care for him that much. A character I had hoped would steal the show was Katana (Karen Fukuhara), but unfortunately some of her scenes were cut from the final film.

I really wanted to love this movie. After the disaster that was BvS, I need this movie to succeed. But as in some cruel twist of irony it was ultimately the direct result of BvS that led to the cutting and re-shoots of this film. This is what happens when studio execs go into panic mode and try to “improve” an already promising film. They should have left this alone. They should have had faith in the crew and the director, hell they should have had faith in the brand.

I love the DC universe, I love the characters. But I’m not so sure about the future of the DCCU. 

Don’t save her if you want to be with her.

I love this girl…… But I don’t want her.

Seems like an oxymoron doesn’t it? 

(God I hope that’s the right word or I look like an idiot).

But I have recently learned a lot about love, affection, reality & acceptance. I know that you can only go so far with people. That you would tear a muscle being “too involved” in their life, especially their drama.

I see a lot of guys (both old and young) continuously fall into this trap. And this happens to women too but for the sake of this article, we’ll stick to the male p.o.v.

The woman I love is a thousand miles away….. And loves someone else.

I resigned within myself that I should let her go, let her pursuit her version of happiness without me working against it.

That is the greatest act of love that I could give her. All I had to was to sacrifice my fantasies of her and I being together.

It took a while but eventually I was okay with it. That is until we had a conversation 5 days ago.

She stopped calling me, even checking in on me to see how everything is. We use to do that and I still wanted to see how she was doing. I knew her being in a relationship would mean that we would talk less but it’s almost been zero contact. 

I tried to give her her space but after not talking for a few months, I decided we needed to speak. At very least tell me that you don’t want to talk anymore.

At this point I feel like I’ve gone full internet complaint mode but… Oh well.

The last few conversations I’ve had with her have all been about her dealing with bad relationships and mental illness. No matter how many time I say that I’m there for her, it is to no avail.

When talking about her past and current relationships, I tried my best to be cool with it. I figured I lucky enough to know her so being her friend wasn’t bad. But when that’s all she wants to talk about, I start to form a little regret.

I try to be understanding, but I’m not going to be the person you complain about life to just to go back doing the same thing… That’s insane. I now know that no matter how much I’m there, it probably won’t happen. She will be miserable no matter what and will never feel the way I do. Damn shame.

I don’t blame her for feeling the way she does. I just hate that I feel like I’m never going to meet anyone better than her. I know there are better matches for me out there but I need to believe that myself.

I can’t help her, I damn sure we’ll can’t save her.

“Times don’t change, only technology does”.

I’ve heard this saying more in the past 24 hours than the last few months. And you know what…… It’s true!

We all witnessed yet again another example of police brutality and public execution. This wasn’t a satirising where there was a shootout and the bad guy got shot. And this wasn’t a case where they’re was no evidence of foul play so we have to take the officers word for it. We have high definition video of a man getting executed.

I’m so happy for the age and time that I live in, because now there’s a social backlash against police shootings. I hate it when people romanticize the past, they fall in love with the fashion and aesthetics but forget the social problems.

Right now I’m angry and I’m tired, but that doesn’t mean shit. This won’t go away. I’m not a religious person but i pray for my family. I pray for my niece and nephews. I pray they never have to go through this.

So something bad happened in Orlando last night.

As a Florida native, I have made my way to Orlando almost yearly. Smackdab in the center of Florida, Orlando host to amusement parks and tourist sites. I’ve been to Orlando my whole life and I enjoy visiting there. My point in bringing up my history with the city is to emphasize that this fun-loving town would be the last place I expected something like this to happen.

I have loved ones and friends that reside down there and luckily they were not harmed, but I shudder to think that what if this had happened in one month?

I go to my local gay bar here in Jax, what if something like this happened then? I could be dancing up a sweat in Incahoots and some crazed asshole could just open fire right next to me.

Originally I was going to make this longer but as I sit here typing this up I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with sadness.

This didn’t need to happen.

I don’t know any of those people, I don’t know whether they were good or bad, or anywhere on that spectrum, but they weren’t killed because of their actions or the contents of their character: THEY WERE KILLED SIMPLY BECAUSE ONE GUY WAS GROSSED OUT.

Fuck that guy, I don’t even need to know his name because that shit-scum doesn’t deserved to be remembered.

I hope the families of the victims can find peace after this.

Please make this future a better one.